nest with eggs

After a separation or divorce, a couple may wish to completely cut ties and move on. That is not possible, however, when they share children. There are various co-parenting methods that a couple can use after they have separated. The goal of each arrangement will be to do what is best for both the children and the couple. One of the options that is becoming more popular is a nesting arrangement. For legal representation and advice, a Sussex County, Sparta divorce and separation attorney can help.

What is a Nesting Arrangement?

A nesting arrangement is a fairly new co-parenting arrangement that ex-couples with children may choose to employ in their lives. There is a stereotype of children of divorced parents lugging all of their belongings back and forth between houses each weekend. In a nesting arrangement, the children remain in the family home and the parents are the ones who go back and forth, taking turns staying in the house with the kids.

Oftentimes parents will each have their own dwellings, whether it be an apartment, home, or family member’s home, that they stay in when it is the other parent’s turn with the children. Sometimes the couple will rent one other property together and rotate staying in either the family home with the children or the new property.

Can it Work?

Many people criticize the idea of a nesting arrangement but it is important to remember that every couple and family are different. There is no one size fits all solution that will work for everyone and there is no perfect arrangement for a divorced couple and their children. However, nesting arrangements can make the aftermath of a divorce less complicated for the children. They can work if the parents trust each other and are able to communicate and cooperate with each other respectfully. It is not recommended that couples with volatile or hostile relationships choose this option.

With trust, respect, and open and honest communication, a nesting arrangement can work. The couple will have to be comfortable sharing a space, even if they do not occupy it at the same time. They will also need to create an appropriate and fair schedule and communicate with each other on a regular basis. If these things are possible then a nesting arrangement can work.

What Are the Pros and Cons of a Nesting Arrangement?

Like any co-parenting agreement, there are both advantages and disadvantages. The pros of a nesting arrangement include the following.

  • Provides stability for the children
  • There is no pressure to sell the family home immediately
  • The new reality becomes a more gradual change, particularly for young children who can become accustomed to the divorce more slowly and understand the situation better
  • It can help the parents learn how to effectively communicate and cooperate post-divorce
  • The parents may have downsized to a small apartment or home that cannot comfortably fit all of the children and their belongings

Cons include:

  • This level of cooperation can be difficult for a newly divorced couple
  • It can be costly to maintain the family home and pay for one or two additional dwellings
  • It can create an uncomfortable situation if and when the parents start dating new people
  • Most couples do not use nesting arrangements as permanent or long-term solutions