There are a number of dos and don’ts when it comes to maintaining a low-conflict divorce. Continue reading and give our skilled Sparta divorce attorneys.
Dos:
Begin to live in the present
It’s important to allow yourself to go through a grieving process to mourn the loss of your old life. But make sure not to let resentment and bitterness towards your ex keep you from creating a functional relationship in the present for your children.
Start practicing effective communication
If your ex sends you nasty emails, you do not need to, nor should you, publicize your low opinion of your former spouse’s choices. No matter what tone your ex approaches you with, keep your responses brief and neutral.
Start being a good co-parent
You owe it to your children to be the best co-parent you can be. Look at your ex as a business associate that you don’t especially like, but need to get along with in order to run a successful business – however in this case, the business is your children. Concentrate on guarding your children against conflict and show them how mature adults handle differences.
Don’ts:
Stop trying to get your ex to change
If you were unable to change your ex when you were married, you are even less likely to be successful now. No one enjoys being attacked or wants unsolicited advice, particularly if it’s given in a harsh, condescending tone. Nothing you do or say will persuade your ex they need to change their personality or choices to suit you, and your efforts to turn them into a different person will only perpetuate conflict.
Stop engaging in electronic warfare
A majority of divorce warfare is carried out via email and texting. Even if you’re not the one that generally starts a harsh email, you may be reacting in a way that invites more conflict: being defensive, sarcastic, or refusing to respond to important information. The best way to balance nasty communication is to respond in a brief, neutral way that sticks to facts.
Stop acting like the perfect parent
Are you giving your ex parenting guidance? Trying to discredit them to doctors and teachers? Your #1 job as a divorced parent is to support your child’s relationship with your ex, not to win the perfect parent award. Unless your former spouse poses a fair safety risk to your kids or asks you for your advice, you need to let them parent in their practice.
Stop trying to get revenge
Be sure you are not doing things to make your ex suffer. Seeking revenge can’t change the past. It will waste money on legal fees and put your kids in the middle of a war zone. Let go of the compulsion to hurt your co-parent and move forward with your life.
Contact Our New Jersey Firm
If you are getting a divorce or have any other questions regarding divorce-related matters, please do not hesitate to contact Paris P. Eliades Law Firm, LLC for a consultation today.
